Tonight was fine. I feel down, but I'm not I just don't have any energy or intrest in anything really. It sucks bad.. I've felt severe depression before, completely down- crying not wanting to move, but at least I felt something. Now I just feel so blah... and it's worse.. it's so much worse... I keep bombing in stand-up and I used to never come close.. now I almost get stage fright it's weird.. I'm so good around people - just don't feel like being in the spot light or talking about anything at all lately, but I've been so relaxed and focused... and able to concentrate.. and nothing has changed as far as diet, daily activity or taking drugs.. in fact I've been pretty clean for awhile... Haven't smoked in so long, and I'm starting to think not doing so is perhaps making me see life to stale. Who knows.. anyways.. And yes I know I do the "..." bullshit, but I'm basicly going right off the top of my head so fuck it and fuck spell checking this after. Tonight Emma came and she was sooo fucking cute and flirty I think Idk I don't even wanna try, she is to good for me. I don't mean that in a boo whoo bullshit fag way I mean that - she is in college on her 4th year works 2 jobs is goregous as all fuck.. wonderful sense of humor - full of energy just -- everything I want. And I have liked her for so long and we get along so well... I just want her to stay in my life I don't want to fuck shit up... + the rejection would suck.. + I'm leaving for the army feb 14th 2011. Sigh. Well off to go ride my bike for a little bit. I need to get some energy, I need to lose a few pounds or something maybe I'll feel better. Have a good one everyone.

Wednesday. It's coming.

Today is going to be a fantastic day! Doing stand up tonight at the good old Warfield. Special guest... amazing girl I've had a crush on for like 2 years. It's going to be wonderful. I have stories and jokes lined up. Hip hip hip hip knee hooray.

Tuesday in detroit

There is no need to put a capital D for detroit in the title. Detroit sucks it's a terrible shithole of a city and it infects the suburbs with it's terrible population. Nothing is worst than the worthless fucks that drive their pos vehicles from that desolate wasteland up to my neck of the woods in Roseville. Fucking worthless fucks. Makes me so mad just seeing the jungle inhabitants coming from down there and breaking shit and just generally disrespecting the area. Selling drugs, shooting, talking... all that annoying shit jungle babies do. Whatever. Anyway. Had an interview today, aced that shit like a boss. Now I'm writing some shit for comedy tomorrow. Emma is gorgeous, and I hope she comes so I can stare at her. Thats about it. Peace

Ugh. Monday

Monday- chillen playing wc3 like a fucking pro.



thats about it. btw the army checks your asshole at meps. warning

It's a casual Monday.

Just made myself a tastey sub it was fantastic. Have a busy day ahead of me: have to find a new job; Walmart is terrible. Also have to go into the recruiting station @ 1 and pick my job. 97 on my asvab I'm so smart. lolz. Writing some jokes and perhaps chillen with some buds. Other than that eh nothing going on. I've come to a nice place in my pursuit of women. Since I was so focused on trying to get one girls and going completely lady gaga for her my game with other girls has increased so much more. I've actually been laying down fat game on ladies scoring numbers, going on dates, and hanging out so much more. It sucks though cause I am still really interested in the one girl... but you can't creep around waiting for one girl to like you when it just isn't going to happen. Shits sucks, but oh well plenty of other girls out there, and maybe one day she will change her mind... and then I will have a lot more experience and be more prepared for her. We'll see, but for now I need to get my ass in the shower. PEaCE

What up.

I have just not felt like updating this at all lately. It's almost 5 am and I just got back from dubstep circus and I am wired... so I guess I'll update regardless. Lifes been good, have a lot going on like stand up.. thats going really well, and been chilling with some cool folks meeting a lot of people. It's all about just getting out there and having a general interest in people. There are people that don't like to talk to just anyone, but I've been greeted more so positively, by random people I've struck conversation up with. I love it, I've got some great ideas from talking to folks, and some good views on shit. I know I'm a man of detail. lollllzzzz. I am just not good with typing it bores the balls out of me. But for now this is good. Hope everyone's life is going good. peace outt

SATURDAY. Bring a plane to work day.

where the drugs at first of all. I want some shrooms or acid... man .. so bad.

Going out to ypsi for fat dave's birthday. Thats about it.

O ya friday.

Friday was stupid.
It stunk.

jews

Thursday. Oh no I don't think so.

I fucking raped last night at the comedy club. It will amazing, had such a nice flow. In fact almost every comic did that night- the crowd was nice. I have work tonight @ 10pm & it's 7:09 now so I'm going to take a shower and play some wc3 CAUSE IM LIVING IN THE PAST. Other than that nothing really to discuss going to get it going nigga naga.

US Army

3pm today I sign up for the US Army. Oh shit.

Tuesday- and Monday recap. Personal reflection

Monday first : Monday was a terrible day I spent in bed. Upon waking up an overwhelming depression washed over me and it struck so fast and so hard I was shocked. I ended up crying listening to terrible music and reviewing over harsh things friends had said to me the previous night that made me have a long hard look @ my life. It also made me realize I have to look @ the full scope of my life and take myself out of the moment and that help give me clarity and ulimitely get up and go to work. Yes I am not happy I work @ walmart and yes I am actively looking for a job, and that will have to do. I have to many responsibilities to just quit. RENT, CAR INSURANCE, FOOD, GAS perhaps money for a date if I can even muster up the courage to ask the damn girl  I like so much on date. I just need to do it, be myself and hope for the best. Just like everything else in my life, I need to relax take my time with it give it my all, and not stress about failing. THAT WAS MONDAY it was fun.

Tuesday : it's 7:36 am just got home from work. Stocking and shit it isn't that bad i don't dislike it that much.
The main thing is it's new, it's more restrictive then working for my dad at the shop, or working @ a job that I come into that I already excel at. I like knowing what I am doing inside and out, and well Walmart.. yes it is simple but there is a lot of little shit you need to get to know and everyone is so stupid and bad @ explaining shit that well you need to figure it for your self - over time - not my cup of tea. But fuck it whatever it's a job and they pay me a stupid amount 9.70 an hour. Well plans for the day...


-Clean  the car.. man it is normally spotless, but my friends are fucking animals and leave shit in there... and it has gotten bad, so gotta fix that.
-Keep to the Vegan thing. I'm doing it for 2 reasons (1) Girl I like. (2) Testament of will.
-Get Erin to run + steal camera from her for operation "Times without Amber" which is a week past schedule.
-Fold all my clothes that have been sitting around for 2 days now. I hate shit all over.


Fuck around.. Write some jokes... stand up Wednesday night @Warfields.

You're on my time.

MTB doing it up right.

You're ok.

SUNDAY-`-`bloody sunday.

Just got home from work it is 7:40 am.. I already hate working at walmart WAY more then I thought I would. Not only because it is Walmart, but because the people too. They're all terrible terrible terrible people. So dumb, so fucking dumb. They talk about the most stupid shit. I watched people fight with animal crackers in the lunch room for 30 mins before I got up and smashed all of their crackers with my bottle of water. WAS SO MAD AT THEIR DUMB BULLSHIT! but I'm home now and I think before I take a little nappy poo I am going to look for another job or 2. Also I still have a super crush on that girl that I have a super crush on. It's annoying I keep thinking about her, but it's mostly because I have no chance with her ( I think ). And what else... that project I said I was gonna start tuesday well ERIN still hasn't given me her camera sooo can't start that til I get that.. and I came in second place in the disc golf tourney. We ended up going to mongolian BBQ after and FUCKING ATE! it was great. The end fuck off.

FRIDAY & SATURDAY. but but but but but tub plug

WOKE UP @ 1pm like a mother fucker. Strolled my fine ass off to work and DID SOME CBL(S) (computer based BULLSHIT). Got out @ 6 debated politics with g-money for an hour and shit. Later got a fly as fuck bonfire I plan on attending @ BrettyD's http://brettyd.blogspot.com/. The night is going to have to wrap up at a reasonable hour though, because in the morning we got THE DISC GOLF TOURNEY which I will win (I am amazing). So ya tomorrow I will be busy all day the toruney is from like 9am to 4pm? or 2pm? or some shit? Either way after that ARTS BEATS AND EATS in royal oaky. Shits gonna be fly. Oh and I bombed bad @ bart's yesterday. CAN WE PRETEND THAT AIRPLANES IN THE NIGHT SKY ARE LIKE SHOOTING YOU IN THE FACE

Thursday. HEY THURSDAY!

Well last night went warfields did some stand-up went well. Everyone was pleased somewhat with my jokes and shit, so thats cool. Tried calling the girl I like no response -3 self estem. Had to wake up @ 8am and go to walmart for borientaion. that was a fucking thrill. Just getting back now it's 4:36pm. Have to do stand up tonight @ club bart in ferndale 10pm. Either it will go well, or it will go moderate. Failure is not an option. Well gonna get my nap on ain't shit else to do.

Dear Ms. Leading

Wenesday morning shit son.

Well already so much done. 12 am went for a little 40 mile bike ride. On the way back I stopped off at this nice track I've heard about and did 3 miles. Then shit went south on my way back my Ipod died... so the tireds kicked in ... bad. So I tried singing to myself, but my voice is so damn good I had to stop. It was hard and I ran out of water on the way back, but I made it. Took an amazing shower did 50 push-ups 100 sit-ups and sparked a bowl. Gonna wake up around 8am and smoke with Tyler and go disc golfin some time around noon I wanna say. Later perhaps going to do some stand-up and invite some people to that. If not see if Erin is going bowling still. Oh and I have to get that camera from her too... to start hating on Amber. Whatev night/morning peace and stuff.