Saturday, November 13, 2010
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Today when upon waking up I realized that I do not live my life for personal enjoyment. The life I choose to live is based on trying to shape myself to be someone else. I don't want that anymore it breeds stress and I lack of self knowledge. Shedding this fake self is my new goal, and working towards finding what I truly want out of life, to avoid loathing everything.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Tonight was fine. I feel down, but I'm not I just don't have any energy or intrest in anything really. It sucks bad.. I've felt severe depression before, completely down- crying not wanting to move, but at least I felt something. Now I just feel so blah... and it's worse.. it's so much worse... I keep bombing in stand-up and I used to never come close.. now I almost get stage fright it's weird.. I'm so good around people - just don't feel like being in the spot light or talking about anything at all lately, but I've been so relaxed and focused... and able to concentrate.. and nothing has changed as far as diet, daily activity or taking drugs.. in fact I've been pretty clean for awhile... Haven't smoked in so long, and I'm starting to think not doing so is perhaps making me see life to stale. Who knows.. anyways.. And yes I know I do the "..." bullshit, but I'm basicly going right off the top of my head so fuck it and fuck spell checking this after. Tonight Emma came and she was sooo fucking cute and flirty I think Idk I don't even wanna try, she is to good for me. I don't mean that in a boo whoo bullshit fag way I mean that - she is in college on her 4th year works 2 jobs is goregous as all fuck.. wonderful sense of humor - full of energy just -- everything I want. And I have liked her for so long and we get along so well... I just want her to stay in my life I don't want to fuck shit up... + the rejection would suck.. + I'm leaving for the army feb 14th 2011. Sigh. Well off to go ride my bike for a little bit. I need to get some energy, I need to lose a few pounds or something maybe I'll feel better. Have a good one everyone.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
There is no need to put a capital D for detroit in the title. Detroit sucks it's a terrible shithole of a city and it infects the suburbs with it's terrible population. Nothing is worst than the worthless fucks that drive their pos vehicles from that desolate wasteland up to my neck of the woods in Roseville. Fucking worthless fucks. Makes me so mad just seeing the jungle inhabitants coming from down there and breaking shit and just generally disrespecting the area. Selling drugs, shooting, talking... all that annoying shit jungle babies do. Whatever. Anyway. Had an interview today, aced that shit like a boss. Now I'm writing some shit for comedy tomorrow. Emma is gorgeous, and I hope she comes so I can stare at her. Thats about it. Peace