Whoa

I was going to be all gong hoe or whatev. And like beast out my blog today... and dedicated to my flithy as fuck stand up. But tomorrow.. lolz.. anyways.. writing is going good, and bitches be sexy I want to fuck now!

A new perspective

Today when upon waking up I realized that I do not live my life for personal enjoyment. The life I choose to live is based on trying to shape myself to be someone else. I don't want that anymore it breeds stress and I lack of self knowledge. Shedding this fake self is my new goal, and working towards finding what I truly want out of life, to avoid loathing everything.

lanning. im lanning.

I'm LANNING UP A STORM IN THIS BITCH

Tonight was fine. I feel down, but I'm not I just don't have any energy or intrest in anything really. It sucks bad.. I've felt severe depression before, completely down- crying not wanting to move, but at least I felt something. Now I just feel so blah... and it's worse.. it's so much worse... I keep bombing in stand-up and I used to never come close.. now I almost get stage fright it's weird.. I'm so good around people - just don't feel like being in the spot light or talking about anything at all lately, but I've been so relaxed and focused... and able to concentrate.. and nothing has changed as far as diet, daily activity or taking drugs.. in fact I've been pretty clean for awhile... Haven't smoked in so long, and I'm starting to think not doing so is perhaps making me see life to stale. Who knows.. anyways.. And yes I know I do the "..." bullshit, but I'm basicly going right off the top of my head so fuck it and fuck spell checking this after. Tonight Emma came and she was sooo fucking cute and flirty I think Idk I don't even wanna try, she is to good for me. I don't mean that in a boo whoo bullshit fag way I mean that - she is in college on her 4th year works 2 jobs is goregous as all fuck.. wonderful sense of humor - full of energy just -- everything I want. And I have liked her for so long and we get along so well... I just want her to stay in my life I don't want to fuck shit up... + the rejection would suck.. + I'm leaving for the army feb 14th 2011. Sigh. Well off to go ride my bike for a little bit. I need to get some energy, I need to lose a few pounds or something maybe I'll feel better. Have a good one everyone.

Wednesday. It's coming.

Today is going to be a fantastic day! Doing stand up tonight at the good old Warfield. Special guest... amazing girl I've had a crush on for like 2 years. It's going to be wonderful. I have stories and jokes lined up. Hip hip hip hip knee hooray.

Tuesday in detroit

There is no need to put a capital D for detroit in the title. Detroit sucks it's a terrible shithole of a city and it infects the suburbs with it's terrible population. Nothing is worst than the worthless fucks that drive their pos vehicles from that desolate wasteland up to my neck of the woods in Roseville. Fucking worthless fucks. Makes me so mad just seeing the jungle inhabitants coming from down there and breaking shit and just generally disrespecting the area. Selling drugs, shooting, talking... all that annoying shit jungle babies do. Whatever. Anyway. Had an interview today, aced that shit like a boss. Now I'm writing some shit for comedy tomorrow. Emma is gorgeous, and I hope she comes so I can stare at her. Thats about it. Peace

Ugh. Monday

Monday- chillen playing wc3 like a fucking pro.



thats about it. btw the army checks your asshole at meps. warning

It's a casual Monday.

Just made myself a tastey sub it was fantastic. Have a busy day ahead of me: have to find a new job; Walmart is terrible. Also have to go into the recruiting station @ 1 and pick my job. 97 on my asvab I'm so smart. lolz. Writing some jokes and perhaps chillen with some buds. Other than that eh nothing going on. I've come to a nice place in my pursuit of women. Since I was so focused on trying to get one girls and going completely lady gaga for her my game with other girls has increased so much more. I've actually been laying down fat game on ladies scoring numbers, going on dates, and hanging out so much more. It sucks though cause I am still really interested in the one girl... but you can't creep around waiting for one girl to like you when it just isn't going to happen. Shits sucks, but oh well plenty of other girls out there, and maybe one day she will change her mind... and then I will have a lot more experience and be more prepared for her. We'll see, but for now I need to get my ass in the shower. PEaCE

What up.

I have just not felt like updating this at all lately. It's almost 5 am and I just got back from dubstep circus and I am wired... so I guess I'll update regardless. Lifes been good, have a lot going on like stand up.. thats going really well, and been chilling with some cool folks meeting a lot of people. It's all about just getting out there and having a general interest in people. There are people that don't like to talk to just anyone, but I've been greeted more so positively, by random people I've struck conversation up with. I love it, I've got some great ideas from talking to folks, and some good views on shit. I know I'm a man of detail. lollllzzzz. I am just not good with typing it bores the balls out of me. But for now this is good. Hope everyone's life is going good. peace outt

SATURDAY. Bring a plane to work day.

where the drugs at first of all. I want some shrooms or acid... man .. so bad.

Going out to ypsi for fat dave's birthday. Thats about it.

O ya friday.

Friday was stupid.
It stunk.

jews

Thursday. Oh no I don't think so.

I fucking raped last night at the comedy club. It will amazing, had such a nice flow. In fact almost every comic did that night- the crowd was nice. I have work tonight @ 10pm & it's 7:09 now so I'm going to take a shower and play some wc3 CAUSE IM LIVING IN THE PAST. Other than that nothing really to discuss going to get it going nigga naga.

US Army

3pm today I sign up for the US Army. Oh shit.

Tuesday- and Monday recap. Personal reflection

Monday first : Monday was a terrible day I spent in bed. Upon waking up an overwhelming depression washed over me and it struck so fast and so hard I was shocked. I ended up crying listening to terrible music and reviewing over harsh things friends had said to me the previous night that made me have a long hard look @ my life. It also made me realize I have to look @ the full scope of my life and take myself out of the moment and that help give me clarity and ulimitely get up and go to work. Yes I am not happy I work @ walmart and yes I am actively looking for a job, and that will have to do. I have to many responsibilities to just quit. RENT, CAR INSURANCE, FOOD, GAS perhaps money for a date if I can even muster up the courage to ask the damn girl  I like so much on date. I just need to do it, be myself and hope for the best. Just like everything else in my life, I need to relax take my time with it give it my all, and not stress about failing. THAT WAS MONDAY it was fun.

Tuesday : it's 7:36 am just got home from work. Stocking and shit it isn't that bad i don't dislike it that much.
The main thing is it's new, it's more restrictive then working for my dad at the shop, or working @ a job that I come into that I already excel at. I like knowing what I am doing inside and out, and well Walmart.. yes it is simple but there is a lot of little shit you need to get to know and everyone is so stupid and bad @ explaining shit that well you need to figure it for your self - over time - not my cup of tea. But fuck it whatever it's a job and they pay me a stupid amount 9.70 an hour. Well plans for the day...


-Clean  the car.. man it is normally spotless, but my friends are fucking animals and leave shit in there... and it has gotten bad, so gotta fix that.
-Keep to the Vegan thing. I'm doing it for 2 reasons (1) Girl I like. (2) Testament of will.
-Get Erin to run + steal camera from her for operation "Times without Amber" which is a week past schedule.
-Fold all my clothes that have been sitting around for 2 days now. I hate shit all over.


Fuck around.. Write some jokes... stand up Wednesday night @Warfields.

You're on my time.

MTB doing it up right.

You're ok.

SUNDAY-`-`bloody sunday.

Just got home from work it is 7:40 am.. I already hate working at walmart WAY more then I thought I would. Not only because it is Walmart, but because the people too. They're all terrible terrible terrible people. So dumb, so fucking dumb. They talk about the most stupid shit. I watched people fight with animal crackers in the lunch room for 30 mins before I got up and smashed all of their crackers with my bottle of water. WAS SO MAD AT THEIR DUMB BULLSHIT! but I'm home now and I think before I take a little nappy poo I am going to look for another job or 2. Also I still have a super crush on that girl that I have a super crush on. It's annoying I keep thinking about her, but it's mostly because I have no chance with her ( I think ). And what else... that project I said I was gonna start tuesday well ERIN still hasn't given me her camera sooo can't start that til I get that.. and I came in second place in the disc golf tourney. We ended up going to mongolian BBQ after and FUCKING ATE! it was great. The end fuck off.

FRIDAY & SATURDAY. but but but but but tub plug

WOKE UP @ 1pm like a mother fucker. Strolled my fine ass off to work and DID SOME CBL(S) (computer based BULLSHIT). Got out @ 6 debated politics with g-money for an hour and shit. Later got a fly as fuck bonfire I plan on attending @ BrettyD's http://brettyd.blogspot.com/. The night is going to have to wrap up at a reasonable hour though, because in the morning we got THE DISC GOLF TOURNEY which I will win (I am amazing). So ya tomorrow I will be busy all day the toruney is from like 9am to 4pm? or 2pm? or some shit? Either way after that ARTS BEATS AND EATS in royal oaky. Shits gonna be fly. Oh and I bombed bad @ bart's yesterday. CAN WE PRETEND THAT AIRPLANES IN THE NIGHT SKY ARE LIKE SHOOTING YOU IN THE FACE

Thursday. HEY THURSDAY!

Well last night went warfields did some stand-up went well. Everyone was pleased somewhat with my jokes and shit, so thats cool. Tried calling the girl I like no response -3 self estem. Had to wake up @ 8am and go to walmart for borientaion. that was a fucking thrill. Just getting back now it's 4:36pm. Have to do stand up tonight @ club bart in ferndale 10pm. Either it will go well, or it will go moderate. Failure is not an option. Well gonna get my nap on ain't shit else to do.

Dear Ms. Leading

Wenesday morning shit son.

Well already so much done. 12 am went for a little 40 mile bike ride. On the way back I stopped off at this nice track I've heard about and did 3 miles. Then shit went south on my way back my Ipod died... so the tireds kicked in ... bad. So I tried singing to myself, but my voice is so damn good I had to stop. It was hard and I ran out of water on the way back, but I made it. Took an amazing shower did 50 push-ups 100 sit-ups and sparked a bowl. Gonna wake up around 8am and smoke with Tyler and go disc golfin some time around noon I wanna say. Later perhaps going to do some stand-up and invite some people to that. If not see if Erin is going bowling still. Oh and I have to get that camera from her too... to start hating on Amber. Whatev night/morning peace and stuff.

Tuesday Time.

Well since Erin has some random excuse again to not run I'm going over to her place of residence. She will run she needs to, I mean I want to.. I mean,... I want her camera. Ya today is Tuesday the start of the everyone hates Amber Project.. Gotta start getting out and taking some pictures that don't involve Amber and exclaiming how great life is without her cunt ass. This is the being of a wonderful thing. Also Jason and I are soon to begin thinking of ideas for out little show of sorts... it will begin.. I promise. for now. Things and such

Monday. Continued .

Didn't sleep, cause that shit is pointless. Went for my drug test, first time I go to piss.. I didn't pee enough so... drank some water.. REPEE, and not enough again.. so 3rd time around .. last time they let you do it.. I drank a bunch of coffee to get that nice pee ready and it made me have the shit feeling. So by the time I get this piss out 2 1/2 hours have passed and I am trying to squeeze a pee out while not crapping myself. It worked, and no drugs in my system (hooray). Picked Drew up from work, helped BrettyD set up his blog... and soon enough going for a bike ride with the J barborous... gonna die.. pretty sure

Monday. you're just going to die anyway.

So this idea came to me. I hate this girl Amber, she is a cunt. So what I'm going to do is go out of way everyday and have a bomb ass time and take pictures of my adventures I have. I'm going to call this project times without Amber. It will be me riding my bike without a helmet on ( like a true motherfucker ), helping out the community ( by selling them cheap snickers bars that I steal), or whatever else I feel like doing that day. So ya come Tuesday gonna start on this project. Peace and shit.

Sunday not as planned.

Well - some friends took some shrooms @ 10am this morning, so instead of just laying around not doing shit like I planned. We went to Royal Oak and tore that shit up. Then cruised on down to Detroit talked to some of the locals, stared at some fountains, and bugged police officers with obscure questions. Then got home around 5pm and napped my ass off like a boss. Shit was cash.

Person L : STORMS

How to Argue (Not Original)

1. Drink Liquor.

Suppose you're at a party and some hot-shot intellectual is expounding on the economy of Peru, a subject you know nothing about. If you're drinking some health-fanatic drink like grapefruit juice, you'll hang back, afraid to display your ignorance, while the hot-shot enthralls your date. But if you drink several large shots of Jack Daniels, you?ll discover you have STRONG VIEWS about the Peruvian economy. You'll be a WEALTH of information. You'll argue forcefully, offering searing insights and possibly upsetting furniture. People will be impressed. Some may leave the room.

2. Make things up.

Suppose, in the Peruvian economy argument, you are trying to prove Peruvians are underpaid, a position you base solely on the fact that YOU are underpaid. DON'T say: "I think Peruvians are underpaid." Say: "The average Peruvian's salary in 1981 dollars adjusted for the revised tax base is $1,452.81 per annum, which is $836.07 below the mean gross poverty level." NOTE: Always make up exact figures. If an opponent asks you where you got your information, make THAT up, too. Say: "This information comes from Dr. Hovel T. Moon's study for the Buford Commission published May 9, 1982. Didn't you read it?" Say this in the same tone of voice you would use to say "You left your soiled underwear in my bath house."

3. Use meaningless but weightly-sounding words and phrases.

Memorize this list:

Let me put it this way

In terms of

Vis-a-vis

Per se

As it were

Qua

So to speak

You should also memorize some Latin abbreviations such as "Q.E.D.," "e.g.," and "i.e." These are all short for "I speak Latin, and you do not." Here's how to use these words and phrases. Suppose you want to say: "Peruvians would like to order appetizers more often, but they don't have enough money." You never win arguments talking like that. But you WILL win if you say: "Let me put it this way. In terms of appetizers vis-a-vis Peruvians qua Peruvians, they would like to order them more often, so to speak, but they do not have enough money per se, as it were. Q.E.D." Only a fool would challenge that statement.

4. Use snappy and irrelevant comebacks.

You need an arsenal of all-purpose irrelevent phrases to fire back at your opponents when they make valid points. The best are:

You're begging the question.

You're being defensive.

Don't compare apples and oranges.

What are your parameters?

This last one is especially valuable. Nobody, other than mathematicians, has the vaguest idea what 'parameters' means. Here's how to use your comebacks: You say "As Abraham Lincoln said in 1873…" Your opponents says "Lincoln died in 1865? You say "You're begging the question."

OR

You say "Liberians, like most Asians…" Your opponent says "Liberia is in Africa." You say "You're being defensive."

5. Compare your opponent to Joseph Stalin.

This is your heavy artillery, for when your opponent is obviously right and you are spectacularly wrong. Bring Stalin up subtly. Say: "That sounds suspiciously like something Joseph Stalin might say." Remember that this is the alternative of last resort; it tend to close all options of retreat.

Keep these basic principles in mind, and you will find it easy (and perhaps even entertaining) to
out-argue anybody.

Another Sunday

Had to wake up @ 7:30am to go down to Walmart to talk to Human Resources. This is how that went : they weren't there, so I wasted a good amount of gas and sleep for nothing. Now it's 9:16am I drank a monster and there is no sign of me sleeping anytime soon, so life I hate you. The one thing I'm looking forward to today is Hamburger Helper how exciting. Side note, don't bother with girls you will be disappointed and disappointed leads to depression, which is derailing to any efforts of success. Disregard females acquire currency.

Saturday is bitchin'

Getting back of the swing of being part of the family. Going off to see my cousin for her Birthday and my aunt and unlce's badass rich people house on a lake. I wanted to finish disc golfing, but gotta make some sacrifices sometime for family.... blah sucks

Night Time

night time is the best time, cause you can't see anyone's faces. Its not that I don't like people I just fear their judgements. Insecruity rules my life right now, it's something that needs to be corrected. In time. In time. For now I enjoy the night for the peace of mind it gives me.